Friends! I’ve struggled a little (or a lot) with not only which topic to focus on this month but also how to approach it. There are several issues that I’ve been hearing about from a lot of you. Perception of your own value and worth, living in authenticity and integrity, living in alignment with all of the above. There seems to be more than usual bubbling up for people right now. My challenge has been how do I narrow this down to something that you need to hear and give you something tangible so you can grow through it.
What do I do when I don’t know the answer? Hit the cards. For this question I used the Sea Soul Journey Oracle Deck by Pippa Best. I pulled the Gratitude card. Always worth conversation, you hear me talk about using gratitude for life shifts – big or small. Showing gratitude and appreciate changes your energetic vibe. It causes things around you, people around you to respond and react differently, in positive energy, which will then lift you up. It is truly magical in that way.
However, as I write this, I recognize that this card means something a little different than the generic, be thankful. And no surprise to any of us I’m sure, it ties together all of the loose strands that I’ve been wrestling with. Stick with me here. 😊 This is where I have landed: You are struggling with value. Value of your skills, your gifts, what you bring to relationships, how to live beyond the chaos of your current life and even how to be the person you think you’re supposed to be. Yeah?
I’m thinking that you are struggling with imposter syndrome, you aren’t necessarily accepting of your gifts, you aren’t as confident as others think you are. All of this leads you to feeling like you are not being true to yourself or your values – you are living out of alignment. Sound familiar?
I am going to change my mantra just a little and not tell you to start with gratitude. I still think that is important and we will get to it, but I also think that it’s all full circle and you just need to jump on the merry-go round from wherever you are. Today, we are going to remove the thing that is standing in your way by defining what you want and how to get there.
Let me also share a fabulous interaction I had a week or so ago that helped guide me to this point. A co-worker with a beautiful soul recognized that I wasn’t in the best place. A little chaotic, maybe even a little angry, certainly all over the place. She left a meeting to bring us her magical deck of cards called Calm the Chaos by Nicola Ries Taggart. It is a lovely deck and once again, completely landed for me. The card that I pulled was: When you align your thoughts, words, and actions, magic happens. Sounds like exactly what I have been talking about?? The card also shares with us that essentially when we are upset, frustrated, or feel stuck with a particular situation or with life in general we need to bring our thoughts, words, and actions into alignment in order to get clarity and the outcome we were hoping for.
The card also provides an activity; we’re going to modify it just a bit to provide you with the clarity you are looking for. Let’s go old-school. Grab a piece of paper and something to write with.
At the top of the page write your desire. Is it to be more present with your family, to spend more time moving your body, feeling more confident at work, what is it that you desire? Let’s start with one and once we have this you can do it again for another if you want.
Under your desire separate the page into 3 columns, leaving some room at the bottom for some free writing. At the heading of each column write: thoughts/words/actions.
Now fill in the columns relating them to your desire.
How do they conflict/align?
At the bottom of the page – or even on another page if you really dig in – start writing about the conflicts and how you can make adjustments in order to realize the change you are desiring. For example, if you are wanting to be more present with your family: are your thoughts positive while you are with them or are you focused on work, dinner, practices, bills, other responsibilities? What are your words? Are you being nice, showing them that you are enjoying the time or are you nagging them, complaining about something, or not even bothering to use words at all? And how about your actions? Are you leaving work at a decent hour in order to spend time? Are you all engrossed in electronics or social media and not even paying attention to one another? Are you present when you are with them?
This seems like such a silly and simple activity but if you are truly open and honest with yourself, it is a good reflection and will provide you with clarity surrounding your desire. It will also point out to you – in bold and blinking lights - where you are missing the mark and how, if you really want to see it, to course correct.
This brings me back to gratitude. Being thankful for that reflection and clarity, for having the ability to achieve what you desire, is something to be grateful for. We are all stiving for something, we’re not going to be perfect. It’s about the small steps for the long-term outcome.
Back to the full-circle of gratitude. Having the ability to give yourself appreciation, even for the small steps, then leads you to having a greater appreciation for the people around you, the world around you. Being able to express that appreciation raises your vibe and energy. That impacts you, the people in your life, and the world around you – in the best way.
I hope that you take the time to work through this reflection. Let me know what you got from it and if you need help navigating any of it. I also have a self-care workshop coming out. It includes a series of videos, a workbook, and a digital affirmation poster. There is one module in particular about gratitude and how to weave it into your life, starting small for immediate impacts that evolve into that life changing shift I referred to earlier. Check it out at https://www.drtanyab.com/ppselfcare.
All the best!
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