OK. If you have read even one of my blogs you have probably picked up that I love one liners. Sayings, that make you think a little bit differently, maybe change the context of your viewpoint, maybe motivational. I pick them up mostly from other authors – personal growth books, podcasts, etc. You also have likely heard me say that there is one small thing you can do that has a major positive impact on your life and that is gratitude. I still 100% believe that. But, if there is a close second runner up, it is this. Assume positive intent.
So, what does it mean?? This quote came from Indra Nooyi, retired CEO of PepsiCo. She explains this as meaning positive intent is choosing to assume that our coworkers are working to the best of their ability with the resources and information they have now. At its core, positive intent is believing that we're all doing the best we can.
I love this. For me it also means that instead of automatically interpreting a situation, a conversation, or even an email with a negative response, or with a negative belief system, maybe, just maybe, let’s take a pause and re-evaluate. Let’s just automatically assume that the other person meant well, did not have ill intent, that they ready did have a positive intention.
For example, if a family member or friend cancels plans with you at the last minute, instead of assuming that they are avoiding you or upset with you, or even found something better to do, assume that something really did come up and was out of their control. Maybe instead of being frustrated or angry or hurt, you could give them the benefit of the doubt. Be a little more open-minded. Maybe even offer them support. If support was what they really needed, think about how that might have strengthened your relationship instead of weakened it.
Assuming positive intentions can be incredibly empowering for women. It allows us to let go of grudges and move on from hurtful experiences. It allows us to see the good in people.
Here are a couple of ways that this practice can change your outlook:
Improve your mood: this will help you feel more optimistic, understanding, and forgiving.
Strengthens relationships: it can help avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Boost self-esteem: when we are taking on negative emotions, we are often blaming ourselves or not feeling good enough. This helps us see that other people’s actions are not a reflection on our own worth.
Increase empathy: by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes we understand their perspective and motivations and can be more compassionate towards them.
For me, the big shift came in my judgment of others. When I started to assume that they have positive intentions I stopped feeling like I was not worthy which then meant that I wasn’t feeling ‘judgy’ or writing my own story about how others weren’t supporting me. This has been huge for me. It deepens relationships but even those surface relationships or interactions are much more respectful, harmonious, and enjoyable. This, of course, leads to a life that is happier and fulfilling. Give it a try!!
If you haven’t already, sign up for my email at www.drtanyab.com and get a free downloadable meditation.
All the best,
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