Last week I talked about expectation, moderation, and mindset. In terms of expectations we all have the same two commodities - time and money - how do you choose to spend them and who is deciding that for you? Moderation…we don’t need to drop the actions that create our health and wellness in the sake of creating a holiday. How about we take care of ourselves while we also have a little fun. And then mindset. Make space for yourself. Practice a little self care, find the balance, create your joy.
That is a perfect segway into the second half of Surviving the Holidays. Let’s continue that conversation with reflections, recharging, and resetting - that is an expansion on mindset, right? This season is a time for family and friends, new and old traditions, gratitude, and looking toward the future.
Photo by Mourad Saadi on Unsplash
Reflect
Setting New Year goals is a pretty typical tradition. So is throwing them out the window by the end of January. Did you set goals for 2022? Did you follow through? Are you disappointed in yourself? Or mad? Or did you follow through and you're happy about that? I think it is important to acknowledge that achievement doesn’t have to be about perfection, it can be about progress. It took me a long time to get past my perfectionist tendencies and accept that I haven’t always been consistent, but dang am I persistent. Meaning, in my own creation of overwhelm, I might not follow through on the actions that support my goals every day (consistent) I always come back to them (persistent). Always. That might not get me to the end goal quickly, but progress should be considered success.
Here is a great practice for reflection. Take out a notebook. A journal even, whether you are experienced or new to journaling. Ask yourself a couple of questions. What are you happy with? What have you accomplished? What would you like to change? Answer the questions. Take your time. Go deep. Free write, just let it flow. When you think that you’re done, expand on it even more. Ask why. This is a great exercise to really delve into and even discover what is important to you. To help you decide how to prioritize moving forward. Don’t rush this activity, spend some time here. Breath. Feel. Write. Reflect.
Now, here is the holy grail of positive change. Gratitude. Letting go of judgment (of yourself and others), and creating lasting change starts with being grateful. So ask yourself: What are you grateful for? Again, drop the perfection, think of the little things, think of the big things, think of the people that impact you in all sorts of ways. Gratitude is a part of my daily practice. I promise you, it is the one thing that I believe has made the greatest impact in my life. The change between the first time I did it until now is vastly different. The first time I sat there thinking what do I have to be grateful for? I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked, and my life is average. Today, I struggle to keep the list to one page. My husband is always number one. After 26 years of marriage, we recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses and have learned to love and respect each other in a way that I would not trade for anything. I have two coaches - for different purposes, who also make the list most everyday. My kids, their partners, my parents, friends, women in my life, and my beautiful pup also tend to make the list quite often. Expending energy into giving thanks creates a circle of positivity and abundance that comes back to us even greater than how we put it out. The idea of karma - what you put into the world, you get back. Give thanks, quietly and boldly. Get comfortable with it and share it. You will thank me - pun intended!!
Recharge
I am sooooo bad at this. I have to be reminded to do it and I have to work at it. I am one of those people that is not OK with downtime. I can’t just be busy, I need to feel productive. All of the time. It’s annoying. But, I also recognize that if I want to be my best, I have to take care of myself. (See the first half of this post - setting expectations and boundaries!) I also recognize that just slowing down isn’t enough, we need to actively care for ourselves. That means something different for each of us. For me, it means time to myself doing the things that fill my cup. Meditating, walking, time in nature, Qi Gong, yoga, a hot bath, listening to music, getting a massage, snuggling my puppy, reading, coffee or a meal with a friend. Once in a great while it means sitting on the couch with my hubby binge watching a show. It could even mean having sex (I hope my Mom and kids don’t read this, hehe). But, whatever works to calm your system and release endorphins is what you need to do for you!
Experiment with different self care practices to see what resonates with you. There are lots of free meditations on YouTube - including on my channel - or apps that you could try. You could pick up a coloring book, try a new hobby. What did you like to do when you were younger - before life took over? Maybe a bike ride? Maybe a craft? The goal here is to find what removes stress and increases joy. I can’t wait to hear what that is for you!
Reset
Time to round this out. We’ve journaled and determined what we’re happy with and what we want to prioritize moving forward. We found ways to replenish our physical, emotional, and mental energies. Now, let’s look forward. We can set goals for the new year, but maybe let’s not overdo it with too many or going to the extreme. Set a reasonable goal based on your priorities.
To bring that goal into fruition you need to get organized and schedule the time for yourself. To get organized you need to think through and maybe do a little research on what it takes to achieve that goal - realistically. Likely a popular goal will be to lose weight or be in better health. What does that mean for you? Clean up your diet? Exercise more? Do you even know what will work best for you? Figure that out. Make a plan. That is your get organized part of this plan. Then get it scheduled. My meal planning and workouts go on the calendar, before the week starts. That is my commitment to myself. I don’t whimsically cancel appointments with other people and when it is on the calendar, I don’t cancel on myself either. I might need to rearrange as the week unfolds, but I do commit. You should too.
Side note - if eating better, losing weight, or exercise are part of your goals I have an amazing girl for you. Elisa Allen at https://www.e360fit.com/ is the best that I have ever worked with. And I have tried it all. She’s a game changer!
This holiday season let’s focus on being calm, centered, and grounded. Being present, setting boundaries, being mindful. Taking the time to reflect, recharge, and reset so that we can be our best moving into 2023.
Speaking of being our best for 2023 - I have 2 programs currently open for registration:
New Year Reset - Want to bring that goal to life? This is a live, virtual, 2 hour workshop. We’ll do some breathwork, set a goal, remove limiting beliefs surrounding that goal, and then use meditation to visualize and manifest that goal. 12/28, 12/31, and 1/8. $22 https://www.drtanyab.com/new-year-workshop
Sister Circle is an in-person event that will occur on 1 Sunday a month for 4 months. This program is all about filling your cup. Breathwork, meditation, and a host of activities with guest speakers. $333 https://www.drtanyab.com/sister-circle
I really hope that this holiday series was helpful for you. As always, please let me know what you took away from it and what the impact is. I love connecting with all of you! Reach out to me through social media, my website, or email info@drtanyab.com.
I’m wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons!
All the best,
Dr. Tanya B
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